Noweaknessinwords.com Website Review

ramblings, reflections and musings about my grownup autistic journey and other life events. three weeks ago, he went to the doctor for back pain that wouldn’t subside. turned out to be pancreatic cancer; tumors from his pancreas pushing into his spinal cord. he was admitted to hospital the other night with shortness of breath and confusion. his blood levels were very low oxygen due to the cancer being inside his bone marrow. they think he may have had a blood clot that caused the rapid decline in health. my mom didn’t opt for an autopsy so we won’t really know for certain. he was ill for 15 years so was slow and gradual in comparison to this but no easier, obviously. when my birth father pas*ed, i developed this permanent heavy weight from death’s hands resting on my shoulder, whispering the virgil’s multiple times a day i ask myself if i’m happy with what i’m doing, i’m a firm believer that we are all on our own paths that are meant to teach and we are to learn accordingly. but i am struggling to understand what all this death is trying to teach me. i mean, i know it has taught me humility and de*p empathy for the human journey. it has taught me patience and spiritual compas*ion that we’re all hurting inside from something; that we’re all working on something (even if many don’t realize it) so to be kind even if people are not kind back (something i think i will forever be working on). grief is a de*ply personal experience so i cannot speak for others. imma jump on this 2018 year in review bandwagon right quick because this year, for me, has been pretty eventful so i am moved to write i don’t really see the house purchase as such a huge deal in like a societal achievement or whatever. i guess partly why it’s a big deal is because it’s taken up a lot of money and a lot of time to get it all sorted, fixed up, etc. it is also in another country, which i guess makes things slightly more complicated but not really because if i ever decide to go home