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Two totally normal Russian men have been discovered travelling across Europe, visiting historic sites and not holding hands. They were brought in for questioning by the Met police when they arrived at Kings Cross from Paris, on November 2nd, 2018. Suspicions arose when tourists informed a security guard that two grown men were reading a map at a cafe, seemingly without their wives. However, they … The Mother’s Alliance has said that babies who demand breastmilk are in fact, se*ual predators. Martha Fannytouchyknot, the spokeswoman of the alliance, released a statement. ‘We just think its quite problematic that babies feel entitled to our bodies, like, this is the ra*e culture that we are living in If you we teach our children that they can just su*k on our nipples whenever they … Continue reading Sacha Baron Cohen, the comedian and creator of Ali G and Borat, has admitted that he is, in fact, the former foreign secretary Boris Johnson. Cohen details how he created the character while studying at Cambridge. ‘I put on a fat suit and a blonde wig and just started mumbling’, the comedian said. Although he wasn’t surprised when he duped The Telegraph into hiring him … Continue reading BREAKING: The number of women able to drive to their own execution has grown exponentially since June 24 of last year, the day the ban was lifted. ‘It’s great,’ says Nora Saad. ‘I am so glad I have the independence I have always wanted. Driving to my execution is ten times quicker than getting the bus.’ Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s gracious progressive values have been said … Continue reading Saudi A group of activists have been arrested in Berkshire for protesting crop fa*ms. Almost fifty people were said to have arrived with banners and paintball guns, pleading fa*mers to ‘stop killing innocent plant’s. The police were called when one of the fa*mers reportedly saw ‘a bunch of na*ed hippies lying in the sun.’ Kai Ray, the leader of the group, said, ‘Vegans disgust me. Why … Continue